"it's like a sleep over every night with my best friend"

I hate this right now, but I know it's better in the long run.

I hate that I'm the reason why you're sad and there isn't anything I can do about.

It seems like yesterday we moved in together... and in no time I was moving out.

this semester went by so fast... I hope vacation and next semester go well too... we can only hope for the best.

hello.. hello?

He said becareful, you could lose yourself.

What happens if I already lost myself.

i just want all of this to pass.

Looking for myself... sober

I didn't want to stay at school by myself so I came home for the night just to find out the school is closed tomorrow, so I'm going back to close the room down and to see Mike before vacation starts. I need to see my best friend it's been a little less then a week and Chester was the loneliest thing without him.

After vacation I will have one week and two days of chester college. I am so excited but then so sad about leaving my two best friends behind.  there's just too much on my mind. I would really just like to be happy. I really need a pick me up... but it's hard to get a pick me up when no one knows you're upset.

Dear Boston, I'm banking on you - I'm ready, are you?!

"When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad

Till you're trying to find the you that you once had

I have hurt myself, cried,

Never again

Broken down in agony

And just trying to find a friend

I'm safe

Up high

Nothing can touch me

But why do I feel this party's over?"

a dream is a wish your heart makes.

I don't know why I got it in my head that you'd actually follow through.

I wanted to be surprised not disappointed.

I should have never got my hopes up.  Maybe I shouldn't get mad at my best friend when he says things that I know are true. I just like to give people the benefit of the doubt and I like to think that I'm worth it.

here's to a night at chester all alone with no best friends around.

Sometimes I wonder if you even still think or dream of me then I remind myself that is doesn't even matter.

Monkey in the middle.

How did we all get here?

Letter was written by

It was Mike and I.

I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker

This school is such bullshit.

I love how my friends and I sometimes end up on the list. Really? Are we really the schools biggest issue? I find that hilarious. Please come talk to me about my attitude because you can't change it and the funny thing is... I don't even have that bad of an attitude. Oh man I was soo pissed off when I found out about this shit, I cannot wait to leave - what a month left here?

You are a skank, I cannot believe you have the nerve to say that about me (sorry I'm not a hoe like you) I'm glad I told you off.  If you want to play this game just know I'm going to play it better.

Even though I turned in my finical aid stuff the day of it got there and I'm all set and I'll still be a sophomore when I transfer which is nice.

I just wish I knew how things were going to end up.

 

Loneliness is just a crime. Look each other in the eye and say hello.

so I'm pretty sure I overdosed on estrogen for no real reason at all and that made me feel wicked sick.

It's been almost a week with antibiotics and I still am sick. I might be sick forever at this rate.

I cannot believe that tomorrow is the last day of October...

it's scary how fast this semester is going.

WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO SLAM DOORS AND STOP AROUND ALL GODDAMN NIGHT HERE... and why does it have to be SO cold!

Well I may be a sinner, but it wasn’t me this time

This week went by so fast.

Monday night 5 of us went to Fire & Ice, it was nice and then I begin to think... I could have Boston every night next semester.

Last night was such a good night, hung out with Sarah and it was so good to see her again it was like she never left, I hope I can see her again before she goes back to school.

The concert was excellent! I had never heard of the Cab before and they were good, PWT even better the 4th time around. Dashboard Confessional was good to see but I hadn't really heard their new shit but they did an awesome cover of Boston by Augustana and So What by Pink! Panic! At the Disco was awesome until they were douchebags and didn't do an encore.

Today I found out that I'm doing excellent in my psychology class and that I'm an excellent addition to the class! I was also nominated by a professor for the spirit of Chester award.... which I thought was cute.

I was excited for Halloween but now that no one is going to be there and this Halloween party is kinda going down the drain... I feel like it's just going to be a lame weekend which I could have worked.

Sometimes to do the things you love, you leave the ones you love behind.

So losing control of my car due to my tire blowing out on the Dover/Newington bridge was the scariest thing ever yesterday... and then trying to change lanes to get to the breakdown lane and seeing my tire with smoke coming off it was quite frightening. 

Boston and Emmanuel was wonderful today. I'm just scared, should I stay or should I go. I need to go. Just the idea of starting over scares me. I also have no idea what I'd study, maybe psychology now?

I was very upset today that Fire & Ice ran out of Alfredo sauce.... it was still good though :)!

oooh and I got a raise at work!

I can't imagine it the same way as you

Ehhh Saw V wasn't what I was expecting, nothing that grand - maybe it was because it was a different director? I think it would have been helpful if we watched 1-4 before we went - to let keep al l the characters straight.

It sucks that I've been on antibiotics for a week and I have not felt better yet.

I'm so pumped for Boston/Emmanuel tomorrow!

Is Tamara home....

I'm not really sure why I subjected myself to watching The Strangers again....

I got an 86 on my psych final... not as good as I was hoping to to do, but I was one of the top scores in the class.

My portfolio for art, design and color went rather well too.. Megan talked about how I have a wonderful personality and how I bring alot to the class... I just need to focus more. Then we talked a lot what I want to do next semester, she's a cool teacher and it helped to talk to her about my "plans" and to hear her advice... and just to hear she thinks that I'd work well with others and that I can really get myself out there and that I'd fit in, in a city was nice to hear cause that is one of my concerns.

Tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and i ain't fucking scared of him

Not to jinx it but I think I'm going to kick ass on my two midterms today.

... not that my second midterm really counts cause it's a portfolio viewing.

Sarah comes home in one week and I'll see her in 8 days! I'm so excited to have one of my best friends home<3!

I wish her... past tense my best friend

I figured our plans would fall through yet again.

Let me know when your over your "friends", your drugs, your parties, your booze.

Then maybe you'll have time for your old friends. Then maybe we will talk again. I'm sick of your drunken phone calls saying "I miss you, lets hang out". 

Cause when you're sober you don't miss me, when you're sober and we try to make plans you're too busy making plans to get drunk. Real mature.

You really should stop burning your bridges.

The cracks in the crystal ball

I'm pretty sure I'm going crazy cause I'm breaking down at very little things.

Everything is just adding up and I'm not dealing with it well.

I couldn't even begin to start pin-pointing what is really bothering me.

It also doesn't help that when I'm mad or upset no one really takes me seriously.

I'm hoping all of this will pass soon.

Uncanny classic hits, who's the team that can't be dissed?

I'm trying to keep the faith in our Sox cause we're playing really hard.

My dad leaves for Oklahoma for 3 weeks this Sunday.

I wish you were here so I could squeeze your hand whenever my ears hurt, cause they hurt alot.

It's a luscious mix of words and tricks

I don't understand how I got so sick again! 

I like to make lists of things that I'm looking forward too... it keeps me happy.

Oct. 18 - interview/audition for my possible promotion!

Oct. 23 - midnight premiere of SAW V

Oct. 25 - Emmanuel/Boston/Fire & Ice with Mike and possibly Zach.

Oct. 29 - SARAH COMES HOME FOR PENN &&& Concert with Sarah & Ciara

Oct. 31 - Halloween at Chester. Being a sexy eskimo with my hot beer girl of a roommate!

Nov. 1 - Being a Tour Guide at Chester Open house// a Halloween Party!!!

Nov. 4 - Voting Day with Mike!!! Mom's Birthday!! Mike & Samatha's 2 years!!! && Last Comic Standing/Comedian from Boston is coming to Chester!